then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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