I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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