I CAN MOONWALK!
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Randomize
