People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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