wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
you never un-have a 4some
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
