I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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