My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
