New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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