What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Life is so much better after having sex.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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