every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
