I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
she smelled like a LAN party
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
