I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
