he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
