you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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