Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
