Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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