he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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