We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
