So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
