I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
