Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
