one might say we're banned from that church
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
