Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
