the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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