LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
