I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
did you just send me my own nude
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
