Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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