ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
