I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
