And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
