im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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