she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
