she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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