My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Randomize
