how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
