I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
