im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
