Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
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