so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
