Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
