Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
