problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
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