Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize