I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
