And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just gift wrapped bread.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
