Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
