When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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