haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
