your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
