It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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