oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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