Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
