At least make sure they are 18
Why
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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