I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
