Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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