and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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