youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Randomize
