did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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